The Zong

I won’t lie: needling Mr. Glaser is extremely satisfying. There’s something about popping balloons filled up with so much assurance that makes a satisfying sound. So it was with Mr. Barry Bonds and Glaser’s obsession with him. Since I first met him, I was reminded, twice a week in the off season, every game day when the Boys of Summer plied their trade, that Barry Bonds was the Greatest Human of All Time, second only perhaps to Jerry Rice or Joe Montana, and don’t forget San Francisco is the Greatest City in the World. I’m all for hometown pride and regionalism, but there’s only so much of this type of thing you can take before you look for some excuse, any excuse, to take a little wind out of the sails of a friend.

When the BalCo scandal broke, it was a perfect opportunity. I might as well be honest: I’m sure it was partial jealousy. As a New England sports fan, we have been long suffering, save these last few years of championship renaissance. It felt good to see San Francisco Super Fan Number One taken down peg. The chants, the asterix, the booing: it all felt pretty darn good.

So I can’t say we don’t deserve it.

The bitter cocktail of Harrison’s suspension and Videotapegate is gonna taste pretty gross come this Sunday morning, and that’s with the Bloody Mary washing it down. Fan loyalty is a funny thing, but gimmie a break: I’m not the type of guy to defend what is essentially a giant entertainment franchise who happens to be located 40 miles outside of Boston. The mulling a few years ago of the Patriots moving to St. Louis (before they got the other LA team) shows that, as far as the NFL is concerned, the money in St. Louis is just as green as the money in Boston. But, yeah, I’m pissed off at the Patriots for giving fodder to the idiot at the bar who will no doubt heckle me now. Thanks, Belichek: you’ve made my life a little harder.

I refuse to make excuses for cheating. But let’s be honest, they’re just the latest team to get caught. LT comments aside, as the Times reports, stealing signals is as old as George Halas. To think that the Patriots committed some kind of unconscinable sin that the rest of the league is agog at the level of depravity of is absurd. At this point, the money is so high and so many jobs are at stake, it’s not surprising that in professional sports, cheating and lying is deregure.

But here’s the Zong of the Week: did Belichek’s press conference remind you of something? Because it sure did for me.

Hypocrisy in any form stinks like the Powell St. station. What the Patriots organization did is a disgrace: as one of the few people left on the planet who believes in honor and playing by the rules, it’s a heavy tarnish on a team that up until this point, you could feel proud supporting. As an organization, it filled a gaping hole left by other institutions that supposedly hang their hat on a set of principles. Like, say politics in this country. Abu Ghirab, Gitmo, CIA black sites, preventive detention, gerrymandering…and maybe taping the other coaches calls: are they all part of the same phenomenon?

As The Decider’s time in the playpen winds down, the wonks have begun postulating of his legacy, and what will be said in the history books. Besides a few dead-ender Neocons vainly flapping their chicken wings and saying “Just you wait!”, most agree that this is one of most mismanaged, intellectually bankrupt, corrupt presidencies ever, whose lasting contribution to the American political landscape is the Roveian tactics of smearing, lying, cheating, vote tampering, and shoving aside dissent. It’s always bugged me that from now on, when 5 graders open up their textbooks, the smilin’ Decider will be there on the same double page spread as Lincoln and FDR. I’m hoping there’s an asterix beside his name, because he doesn’t represent what makes me proud to be an American.

I have been, and will always be, a severe humanist. Vonnegut is my Siddhartha. But there are times when I think that those religious folks on TV have a point. Where has our center gone? Are we so deficit of any type of mores now that anything you can do to win is allowed? Tell me that’s not really where we are now. Please.

I hope the Patriots win 10 more Superbowls while I’m alive. But somehow, those rings won’t sparkle as brightly for me anymore.

- J.A.