The Zong

So, I’m busy working on a small treatise about how crappy San Francisco Giants fans are when the team plays in it’s own home park, but I had to stop and comment on this story. Evidently, some poor bastard at an Astros game proposed to a woman last night and got popcorn dumped on his head before she stormed out of the place faster than a Mormon at a donkey show.

I don’t know the circumstances surrounding any of this, but the Houston Chronicle has a couple observations from Astros skipper Phil Garner.

“If it was an act, she put on a good one,” Garner said. “She looked totally surprised and then totally mad. We couldn’t even get a proposal right down here tonight.

“We lead the league in marriage proposals, and we couldn’t get that one right tonight.”

Putting aside that it’s not a great idea, ever, to propose to someone at a regular season Astros-Nationals game, let’s not forget how nervous the poor bastard probably was that she might say no, and then imagine his “surprise” when she dumped a bunch of popcorn on his head — in anger.

I don’t know if it was an act or not, but I think this guy dodged a bullet. I’m not an expert on relationships or anything, but if a woman’s reaction to your marriage proposal is to get pissed at you, think about how fun things are gonna get the first time you forget to put the cap back on the toothpaste. Consider yourself warned.

Anyhow, the guy who wrote the article for the HouChron, one Jose de Jesus Ortiz, has one of the best leads I’ve ever read in sports journalism. Props to you, Jose, for writing this:

“It was not a good idea to make assumptions Monday night at Minute Maid Park…”

Brilliant. Thanks to DK for sending me the story…

- M.G.