The Zong

I know the usual format on The Zong is a pretty strict one: one post per Bush Junta outrage, (usually by the M.C.), and then we move on to the next miscarriage of justice. God knows the Bushies are considerate enough to make sure that we never run out of material, but I’d feel real real blue if I didn’t also get a chance to comment of the commuting of Libby.

To even use the phrase “there is a certain irony…” when referring to anything the Bush administration does anymore is to place yourself firmly in the “Well, DUH.” Hall of Fame: it’s like saying you believe in evolution. Nevertheless, we are truly through the looking glass, now, people, for it’s no longer the rhetorical dog and pony show that we have been witness to, but actual documentable reverses on that which is most scared in our land of laws: their legal opinion.

The Bushies have always been proudly neanderthal about the legal status of those found guilty in our system. Whether it’s a retarded death row inmate in Texas, or an innocent Afgahni swept up and sent to Gitmo, Bush and his posse of crimefighters have always swaggered about and enforced tough Texas Law. You did the crime, you do the time, parder. Said from the deck of a yacht in Kennebunkport, it has a certain charm, and plus, it rhymed.

But when someone from the Dick Cheney Secret Freedom Squad got swept up into our legal system and was actually found guilty of breaking the law - the same law they impeached Clinton on - the whole thing started to seem less totally - awesome - and - cool - just - like - the - Lone  - Ranger - but - with - more - guns - and - money.

So the irony is that the Bush reversal on sentencing guidelines may have stuck a pin in what for generations the GOP has held dear: making sure people poorer than them stay in jail. From the NY Times:

“By saying that the sentence was excessive, I wonder if he understood the ramifications of saying that,” said Ellen S. Podgor, who teaches criminal law at Stetson University in St. Petersburg, Fla. “This is opening up a can of worms about federal sentencing.”

The commuting of the sentence actually has given a huge amount of very valuable ammo precedent to those which are traditionally the swron enemies of the GOP: the trial lawyers. By setting such a precedent, and settin it so high, no action since Watergate has done more weaken the concept of keeping people in jail for longer amounts of time with less chance of parole. Bush has, in one swift move, undermined years of hard work by his side with one selfish act. Which is, you know, kind of getting to be like his specialty.

“It’s far more important than if he’d just pardoned Libby,” Ms. James said, as forgiving a given offense as an act of executive grace would have had only political repercussions. “What you’re going to see is people like me quoting President Bush in every pleading that comes across every federal judge’s desk.”

So true-believers, (any of you that actually read this leftwing rag), congrats, Bush Boy has totally just opened the Halls of Freedom to the nefarious Trial Lawyer Gang, and as we speak, they are drilling with a special laser through the very walls you fought so hard to protect. Better get him out of there before the next issue: I read a lot of comics, and these things have a way of snowballing.

- J.A.