The Zong

Does anyone remember the last time it was fun being a fan of the San Francisco Baseball Giants? Neither do I! One of the happiest memories from my childhood was the BART ride to the Oakland Coliseum to attend the 2nd game of the 1989 World Series. It was all mad excitement and people screaming and I thought I was the coolest kid in the world in my Giants hat and eye black.

Then Rick Reuschel gave up 5 runs in the first 4 innings, topped off by a 3-run jack by long-since forgotten catcher Terry Steinbach. The rest of the game was kind of blurry, as I tried to fight back tears while a full-grown man in a Raiders jersey (at a baseball game) heckled me for wearing eye-black in the bleachers and told me to take my glove off every time the Giants were up because I wouldn’t need it. He was right. I was twelve.

But everything was about to get better for Giants fan against the Angels in 2002, Up 3-2 in the series and up 5-0 in the 7th inning of game 6. I was in a sports bar in Los Angeles, joyfully screaming like an idiot at some guy wearing an Angels hat and ready for more beer when the Giants pitching staff once again heroically pissed away the hopes and dreams of a generation of loyal fans. It also prompted one of my more insensitive yet baseball-savvy friends to exclaim “That’s Giants pitching!”

So, as Jason Schmidt ponders the silence of the Giants front office, I sit and ponder what the hell the Giants are talking about when they talk about trading for Manny Ramirez. Now, I love Man-Ram’s numbers and think he’d be a great younger public relations nightmare who doesn’t run out ground balls to replace the older public relations nightmare, dead-weight, slow-footed, defensive liability that San Francisco likes to put in left field nowadays, and part of me hopes it’s all a bunch of bullshit to try and get Barry to sign with the Giants for a couple of bucks and Santa Clara 49ers season tickets. Nevertheless, unless Manny has a really ill slider that I don’t know about, I’m curious how this team is planning on improving itself without some serious arm strength.

Last season, anyone who watched the Giants play on a regular basis might have noticed a repeated, familiar series of events in each game. I believe young kids learn to refer to this kind of series as a “pattern.” The pattern had something to do with scoring one or two runs in the first three innings and then giving up four or five runs a game, many of them in the 8th and 9th inning. In fact, the Cardiac Kids of San Franistan had a team ERA of 4.58 in the final three innings last season (that’s 24th overall). In innings 1-6, the team was right in the middle of the pack, ranked 14th overall. Now, I’m not a baseball doctor, I just play one on the internet, but my diagnosis in this case is a horrible bullpen and a rotation that’s short by an arm or two.

The prescription? MORE FUCKING PITCHING!

Sorry for yelling, but it gets mighty cold during the winter meetings out here in Yerba Buena, and while I agree that I’ll probably start coughing up blood if Rich Aurilia is batting 3rd next year, the Giants and their post-break team ERA of 5.00 need to put those pitcher-finding goggles on and bring me someone better than Jamey Wright or Sidney Ponson, or at least someone who started a few games in a league that didn’t have Osama Bin Laden Bobblehead Night planned. Ever

I like some of the Giants’ young arms, and I realize that the free agent pitching market is kinda limp. Maybe Matt Cain can be the ace of the staff before he becomes a free agent and signs with the Dodgers, but unless you’ve really already given up on even fielding a team next year, Mr. Sabean, for the love of Christ please go get Barry Zito. He loves the girls out here.

- M.G.